To my Dearest
by Ayumi Kurosawa
Summary: Just a simple story where Dazai got a letter from his girlfriend; Yamazaki Tomie.


**To My Dearest**

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A/N: Hello~ it's me Ayumi again. whew finally I can write one story in the middle of my busy college life... I'm sorry if the grammar is bad, english is not my main language, but i will be very happy if you all like it *smiles* well then, please enjoy~

Disclaimer: Bungou Stray Dogs (c) Asagiri Kafka & Harukawa 35

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The once blue sky now changed into a starless sky as the sun disappeared into the horizon. All of the street lamps was turning onーcreated a beautiful night view. Cars were passing through furiously, sometimes they honked the other car, a couple were happy to spend their time with their beloved ones, children with happy faces were laughing out loud with their family, some of them was enjoying their meal, with a ferris wheel that spinned slowly, no one could take off their eyes from Yokohama's night view.

The atmosphere became much colder. With just a sigh, you could see a white puff came out from their mouths.

Not so far from the crowded place, a woman just sighed in her room. Her light brown eyes were reflecting the light from her desk lamp. Another sigh just escaped from her pink lips. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but her little heart just didn't want to listen what her brain said. She's just at her limit now, and she didn't know how to feel better. She knew she shouldーno, she must meet him, but at the same time she didn't want to disturb him.

A third sigh was heard through all the room. Her fingers grab her smartphone, and automatically she was opened an e-mail from him from several days ago.

『Tomie, Kunikida-kun just gave me a lot of paperworks... I don't have any will of working now and it's so boring~~ damn... I missed you, I hope you miss me too honey~ 』

Tomie or Yamazaki Tomie was letting out one giggle as she read the message once more. He just didn't know how much she missed him too. Suddenly the giggles disappeared and she narrowed her eyes. A sadness was written all over her face as she shifted her gaze to the letter that couldn't reached him.

ー _knock, knock_

As a knocking sound drifted her back to reality, she put the letter back inside her pocket. Her legs bought her to the door and she opened it.

"Ah, Sasaki-san..." Yamazaki just trailed off her words when she saw her guest. Not too shocked or expected it either.

"Goodnight Yamazaki-san. I just want to ask you; do you want to go with me to the Armed Detective Agency office?" Sasaki just offered her right to the point.

"Eh? But isn't the people there was so busy?"

"Well yeah, but isn't it good to come over? I can guess everyone will be happy too to have some company from us."

"I want to... but..."

"It's okay, I'm very sure he will be happy to see your face. Kunikida-sama sometimes called me and told me about how his suicide mania partner always going whinny when his woman isn't around."

Yamazaki just blinked her eyes for a moment before a small laugh came out from her lips. Then she smiled and accepted the offer.

"Okay then."

Sasaki and Yamazaki walked down on the street. Both of their attention were locked at the Yokohama's night view. The sparkling lamps were gleaming everywhere, a child who ate ice cream was passing through them with a laugh, both of the woman just smiled at the scene around them. As the atmosphere became colder and colder, a snow was falling one by one which made the city more lovely for citizen even tourist.

their walk wasn't too long and they have reached their destination. Yamazaki looked up at the red building. She gulped. She haven't come here for a while because 'that person' was very busy. They took their step to the 4th floor where the office at, and when they stood in front of the door, Sasaki quickly knocked it which made her got a response from the other side, "Come in."

Sasaki turned the knob door, and opened it to say her greetings.

"Good night..."

Everyone in the agency (who worked overtime except Ranpo who just being there for fun) suddenly shifted their gaze to the door and shocked to see their guest at a time like this. Moreover, the one who really shocked must be the man with glasses.

"Sasaki?!"

"Good night Kunikida-sama."

"What are you doing here?"

"Just want to come over. I want to see how are you doing..."

"O-oh... is that... so... umm... thank you anyway..." it's not Kunikida if he's not losing his chill when he was with Sasaki. Even just a simple talk could make him a bit shy.

Sasaki smiled at his reaction, but her eyes shifted to someone who greeted her.

" _Ara_ , it's Sasaki-san huh?"

"Good night to you too, Dazai-san."

Dazai's hazel eyes were scanning the areaーtrying to find one certain person but sighed when he didn't find that person. Looked at Dazai's helpless figure made Sasaki held her mouth. She was trying not to laugh and then chose to walk to the door.

"What are you doing there, just come in here," without waiting anymore, Sasaki pulled Yamazaki's hand to let her in.

"Whaー Sasaki-san...!"

Dazai's boring face suddenly got brighter as his ears caught a familiar voice that was coming from the door. He was hoping he wasn't in his daydream. If yes, then, he was sure he was going crazy.

"Come on, don't you want to say hello to Dazai-san?"

Just as Sasaki words finished, Yamazaki made her appearance and walked inside the office. She smiled weakly while waved her right hand at Dazai. Yamazaki didn't know what should she felt. What she knew that her heart was pounding loudly which made her chest a bit hurt.

"Good night, Dazai-san..."

Of course everyone knew what will happen next when Dazai found a beautiful woman. His hazel eyes were gleaming with a sparkling effect reflected in his manic, he smiled widely, and then...

"HONEY~~!"

...the next thing they saw was Dazai jumped off of his desk, ran to Yamazaki's place, and bought her to his embrace as he snuggled on her with a big smile plastered on his face. Everyone in the agency just sweat dropped at the scene or more likely at Dazai's overreacting personality.

"Where have you been? Why you are not calling me? I missed you~"

Being attacked so suddenly by his question made Yamazaki sweat dropped. She then cleared her throat and began answering.

"Well... since you are very busy, so I thought I don't want to disturb you..."

"Tomie, you know that I never get disturbed if it's you who's calling. Instead, I will be very happy for it honey," said Dazai as he pecked Yamazaki's cheek which made the woman blushed.

"OI DAZAI!" Kunikida yelled not far from them.

"Yes Kunikida-kun?" Dazai took off his hug and stared at Kunikida with an innocent stare now.

"You still haven't finished your work, and don't you dare going off somewhere while you still working."

"Eehh~? I don't want to, I'm tired, and I want to spend my time with Tomie," said him again while hug her shoulder.

"You can do that later right?"

Dazai's hazel eyes just keep stared at Kunikida's grey one. He pulled his corner lips slowly.

"Kunikida-kun, are you jealous because you can't spend time with Sasaki-san just like what I do with Tomie~?"

"WHAーno! Of course not!"

"Really~? you're not jealous that you can't be so close like this~?" without paying attention to his surrounding, Dazai hugged Yamazaki from behind and snuggled closer to her.

A blush was spread through Kunikida's face.

Dazai just smirked. Jackpot.

"Pfffttー" everyone in the agency was trying their best not to laugh at Kunikida, but it seems it's useless.

"Kunikida-kun is so easy to read~"

An heavy aura was engulfed Kunikida's body, and the next thing that we knew must be...

"DAZAAAAAAAIII!"

And the laughter was cracking throughout the agency office.

XXX

"Dazai-san, maybe it will be better if you finish the paperwork first..."

"Hmmm~~ no. I'm too lazy to do that whole thing, and what I want to do is to spend my time with a beautiful woman like you."

Dazai still snuggled closer to her body. He just put her on his lap right after the incident with Kunikida. His hands was circling on her waist strongly, but then something caught his attention on her right pocket. He narrowed his eyes, while thinking something to make her attention went somewhere.

"Tomie, do you miss me? I missed you so much you know," Dazai whispered on her left ear with a husky voice. The black-brownish haired woman suddenly closed her eyes when she felt his breath on her ears. It ticklish yet inviting at the same time.

"I... I... I am..."

"What is it? I can't hear you honey~"

"I... I... I... want to drink!"

Dazai was smirked when he saw the expected reaction. Just before she could run away from him, his skillful right hand took away the thing from her pocket. His eyes observed it and realized it's turned out to be a letter.

"A letter? For who?"

Curiously, he opened the paper. His hazel eyes began to read the contains slowly. Each of the words made him feel a butterfly on his stomach. He could feel his throat was a bit sore, and his chest was filled up with such emotions. A wide smile was plastered on his handsome feature as he knew what inside the letter and for who it was.

It was a right timing. Just when he finished read the letter, Yamazaki was back from her business. Looked at the black-brownish haired woman with so much meaningful stare, Dazai just kept his smile on his face, which made the woman pulled up one of her eyebrows.

"Kunikida-kun~ I'm going off with Tomie okay~"

"Whaaaー Dazai, you!"

"Just for tonight. After this I promise I will finished the paperwork."

Kunikida didn't say anything, which Dazai took that answer as a 'yes'.

He then turned his gaze at Yamazaki and offered her his hand.

"Okay, shall we off then milady?"

"Dazai-san, are you sure?"

"I'm very sure of it. Let's have fun tonight~~!"

Right then and there, Dazai dragged Yamazaki out of Armed Detective Agency office. As they walked out from the office, they were blanketed with a comfortable silence before finally Yamazaki broke off the silence.

"Dazai-san... maybe it will be better if we baー"

Before Yamazaki could finish her sentence, Dazai was already cut her off by calling her name seriously.

"Tomie."

Realizing the seriousness inside his voice made Yamazaki stood still on her place.

"Yes?"

"Why you are always feel like you're afraid that you will disturb me or my work with your existence?"

Yamazaki didn't answer, instead she just listening to what he said. Realized that the woman didn't say anything, Dazai continued his words.

"How could that I think of you that you're a disturbance for me while I know myself that you're a important person for me."

"But..."

 _'I don't want to be selfish just for fulfilling my desire...'_ thought her.

"...By the way, thank you for the letter honey~" said Dazai by showing off the letter that he got. Trying to change the topic.

Yamazaki was confused at first; didn't understand about what he meant. But, when he showed off the white paper in his right hand, realization hit her so hard like a stone. She widened her eyes, and then ran to her boyfriend to take the letter back.

"Dazai-san! That letter! Please give it back!"

"Nope. I will keep this with me as a proof."

"What kind of proof?" Asked Yamazaki.

"A proof that you loved me so much?"

"Please... just... give it back to me!"

Yamazaki showed her puppy eyes to him. Hoped that maybe he would listen to her wish, but this was Dazai. He won't let the topic off so easily. He smirked and began to tease her again.

"Hmm... how about... I'll give this letter back to you if you... give me a kiss? On the lips?"

"What...?!"

"Well, if you don't want to, then, I won't give this letter back~"

No matter how many times have passed, there's no one that could win from this man. She, even everyone knew about that.

"Okay then!"

Without waiting anymore, the woman ran to her boyfriend and threw her arms around his neck. Drowned herself in their taste as their lips met each other. It felt so tempting, sweet and addicting like a drug. They were parted to take a breath before kissed each other again.

Yamazaki's eyes were narrowed before it closed finally. Letting herself drowned into their own world again and whispering the three words.

"I love you, Dazai-san."

Dazai just smiled as he heard Yamazaki's confession. he didn't need any words, cause his action would answer any kind of question that slipped out from her mouth.

The deeper their love gets, the more they wanted.

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「To my dearest.

Dazai-san, how are you? I hope you are feeling well. Do you eat properly? Have you monitoring your health? I'm so worried that you get sick because overworking. Do you... still ask another beautiful woman to do a double suicide with you besides me? Please forgive me if this question sounds weird.

Hey Dazai-san, do you know that I missed you so much? I wanted to come to the agency, but never do it because I'm afraid that I may be disturb you while you're working. But hey, I'm so happy when I got that e-mail from you who said that you're bored when I'm not around. What a lovely person you are...

But you know, at the same time I was afraid what are you doing while I'm not around... sometimes I think that you're going off to somewhere else with another woman. I can't take off this thought for a while... I know maybe I sounded like I don't believe you, but you know? I believe you more than anyone else, and whenever I see you flirting with another woman, deep down inside my heart, I was jealous. Sometimes I think; what should I do to make you look only at me? What should I do to make you only for mine? Do you mind if I'm selfish just for one day? Become a woman who thirsty for your love? I know this sounds disgusting, but this is what I feel in my little heart. I never show it because I don't want to show people that I'm such a selfish woman...

Sometimes, I'm also afraid that maybe just maybe we will be separated again like what happened in 4 years ago. That thought still haunting my mind up until now, but I've always trying my best to stay positive. Hey Dazai-san, even if someday we get separated, forcefully or not, you should know that I will never turn my backs from you.

Well... you are a cruel person for making me feel this way, but I don't care.

I love you with all my heart* and it hurts.

Because it hurts, it made me don't know what should I do, even though I know what to do.

I hope this unreachable letter will reach you one day...

Later then my dearest.

Love  
Yamazaki Tomie.」

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A/N: It's finished. I've edited some of it. I wrote this fic just for fun... Well, writing Dazai dialogue was a bit hard or should I say hard? even though Dazai BSD and me shared the same blood type; AB, sometimes it's hard for me to grasp his personality.

well, since he is AB person, he's a kind of type that should be 'teached' about love, cause AB is a person who don't know anything about love. it's true btw cause I feel it myself. And... for me, Dazai has a 'very strong loyal' aura in him if he's being serious in love with someone. he loves to tease yet he can be serious if he wanted to, and putting that kind of dialogue sure is a challenge for me.

and [*I love you with all my heart] quotes was taken from IRL Tomie's diary. I've managed to find it through google japan hehehe...

I'm gonna make another Dazai x OC fic more, but college life is so busy so it took away my time to write *sobs*

Later then~

 **Kurosawa Ayumi**


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